Comments on: Love Letter to a Femme in Need

By: Sublimefemme

Sublimefemme — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:59:57 +0000

BTW how do I get my avatar to display?

By: Sublimefemme

Sublimefemme — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:58:32 +0000

I like your addendum, Essin Em. How about this?

Feminine is an adjective, but femme both a noun and a verb. One can “be” femme and “do” femme, right?

Thank goodness my days of taking standarized tests are long over!
xo SF

By: essinem

essinem — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 18:35:18 +0000

Certainly, I don’t want to juxtapose the two. I feel it’s kind of like a math equation, or a GRE word problem:

Some females are feminine.
Some females are Femme.
Not all Femmes are feminine (or not all the the time)
Not all feminine females are Femme.
Who wants to be fucked now?

To me, feminine is like an adjective, where as Femme is an identity. You can be the Femme identity and also embody the feminine adjective, but you don’t *have* to.

Is that a better explanation?

By: The Femme Archive « Femme FATale

The Femme Archive « Femme FATale — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 14:40:32 +0000

[...] sort of femme or queer communities at present. I’m specifically thinking about sublimefemme’s Love Letter to a Femme in Need (one of the best posts I’ve read in a long while), about my own evolution to being femme, and [...]

By: The Femme Archive | The Femme's Guide

The Femme Archive | The Femme's Guide — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:12:20 +0000

[...] Love Letter to a Femme in Need [...]

By: Sublimefemme

Sublimefemme — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 07:11:04 +0000

Thanks, Essin Em. I really like your post from a few weeks ago, “Femme Does Not Equal Feminine,” in which you made this point very clearly. I think this is a persuasive argument, although it does seem to me to present the risk of juxtaposing “femme” and “femininity” as ways of doing gender. I hope we can keep talking about this.

I’m sure you’d look great lecturing in a leather mini. It was pretty fun

By: essinem

essinem — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 19:52:45 +0000

Beautifully written.

And as I have pointed out many a time, here and else where, Femme does NOT have to equal femininity. I don’t wear heels often, if at all, I hate the color pink, and have *just* discovered foundation. I like to sleep in either a negligee or batman PJ pants with a tank top. Both are Femme. Femme is an attitude you create and embrace for yourself, and like SublimeFemme says, no one knows all the right signals, because there aren’t any.

I wanna lecture in a leather mini skirt too!