Emerging Themes

Ever since I thought up this project, just about exactly a month ago, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my specific goals for this group project are. I’ve come to a few conclusions, which I really want to share.

In finding (my absolutely wonderful) authors I have had some people tell me things like “I’m femme, but I’m also kind of boyish” or “I’m femme, but I do boy-drag sometimes” and then asking me if that’s okay. Of course that’s okay! Very few femmes are high femme all the time, and many femmes aren’t high femme at all.

Similarly, a number of the authors are currently with masculine cis-male people (myself included), and have questioned that connection as well. Can one be femme and be with a cis-male? Of course! I think femme has less to do with who you sleep with than it does about who you are. Femme is a conscious genderfuck in the rouse of traditional femininity, and is very powerful and looks vastly different from one femme to another!

I have just recently added the following to the about page:

One theme and purpose of having multiple writers for a blog such as this is to emphasize the diversity within the femme label. No two femmes are exactly alike, and all of our experiences are different. There are femmes in heels and dresses and femmes in blue denim and leather jackets, and everywhere in between and beyond! Femme is more than what you wear, it’s a feeling as well as a chosen label.

My personal definition of femme is summed up in the line: “femme is a conscious genderfuck in the rouse of traditional femininity.” This is a very broad definition for a very specific reason, because femme is nearly limitless, and that’s one thing I want to emphasize through including all these various voices within this project. There is no “right” or “correct” way to be femme, there is only our own personal ways.

That said, this is not the only theme I wish this project to have, but it is an important one, and the one I have been thinking the most about. This is the inspiration for the logo of the site, a hammer about to smash a glass slipper. Why? Because we are not fragile creatures and we do not conform to the ideas that society puts on us. We embrace a marginalized identity and we do it with pride, and we all are unique individuals who have this common thread of femme running between us, but may be radically different in many other ways.

-Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Last 5 posts by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

• Dear The Femme's Guide - August 22nd, 2009
• Review: Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels - August 21st, 2009
• Interviewees needed for Butch/Femme Identity Study - July 8th, 2009
• Visible: A Femmethology - Virtual Tour Day - April 7th, 2009
• Culinary Comfort: Curry Bake - April 6th, 2009

Tags: femme, gender, gender presentation, society, themes, what femme is