shoes!

Prompted in part by a post from  Ms. Hinterland where she mentioned her first pair of heels, and then even further inspired by finding the CUTEST new shoes today, that were on sale for $10 regularly $60 (‘Sugar shoe’ black mary janes with a crazy floral print, and a thick chunky 2 inch heel) I started thinking about shoes and femmeness and the first pair of shoes I remember owning that made me feel like a femme.

Most of my childhood was spent desperately attempting (and horribly failing) to be a tomboy. I was really really bad at it, but I desperately wanted to succeed.  In retrospect I know a big part of that was that I wanted the cute tomboys to notice me, and the other part was that I lived with my sexually abusive stepfather and I saw the adoption of masculinity as a way to protect myself, and that femininity was vulnerable (but that’s a whole different story).

In seventh grad my stepfather was only in the home on weekends and I began for the fist time really playing with femininity. The excessive flamboyant femininity that I began playing with was fun, intense, and eccentric. In many ways it’s similar to the style of femme I would come to claim a decade later.  One outfit that I remember in particular was something I put together for Easter- a lime green silky dress that snapped up the front, black and white checkered tights and neon orange vinyl heeled sandals! I thought I was hot stuff, and those shoes were the first heels I ever owned and coincidentally the first shoes that made me feel  * really * femme.

Now I’m the first to admit that a femme is a femme no matter what ze is wearing, and that as someone with knee problems I’m just as femme in my crazy colored super sassy sneakers (goddess I love living in a city with a sneaker culture) as I am in heels HOWEVER, there is something special about some shoes. Those orange platforms in seventh grade were a pair, my black kitten heals with hearts cut out (that appear on the front of my memoir) are another, as are my hot pink vinyl pointy-toed flats with rainbow trim, and these new floral mary janes are added to that list as well.  What shoes are really special to you as a femme?

Last 5 posts by Sassafras

• One Freak Show! - March 6th, 2010
• K.D. Lang at the Olympics *fans my femme self* - February 13th, 2010
• Sacred Kink - February 13th, 2010
• The Big Book of Sex Toys - February 8th, 2010
• Femme Conference 2010 - January 24th, 2010