I came home today to the news that GLASS (Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services) located in LA has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  The situation is obviously complex, and it sounds like there are different plans in place which I’m not qualified or interested in delving into, what struck a chord for me was what it is like for the youth who are using those services, who need the programs and support that GLASS provides for their very survival.  One of the contributors to my anthology is a youth who utilizes GLASS services, and when I heard the news of their potential closing she was the only person I was thinking of.

It’s been a week for a lot of thought about these issues as the February 12th marked the one-year anniversary of the tragic and brutal death of Lawrence King.  Last year when I spoke at a GLSEN Day of Silence Rally dedicated to Lawrence’s memory I spoke of how Lawrence King was part of what I consider to be my ‘kicked out family’ those LGBTQ folks contributors to my anthology or otherwise who have had the experience of leaving home as teenagers because of their gender and/or sexuality. One of the things not well known about the case is that Lawrence was living in a group home when an eight grader senselessly ended a beautiful life. Lawrence was removed from the home because of physical abuse, and yet I watched community members (mostly unknowing) send cards of condolences to the ‘family.’  This year’s anniversary was punctuated by Lawrence’s parents filing a homophobic/transphobic lawsuit against the school for failure to enforce the dresscode. People who know me are familiar with the fact that one of the main things I am passionate about, and a central theme that the vast majority of my work is focused on the epidemic of homeless LGBTQ youth. It’s an issue that I talk a lot about both privately and professionally, but to me it’s not just an *issue * that I’m passionate about, it’s my community, and my history.

I’m guessing that by now some of you are wondering what this has to do with being femme and why I’m blogging about this here at The Femme’s Guide. In general I keep a lot of my work with my anthology and other things connected to the epidemic of queer youth homelessness separate from my femme blogging life, but for me the two issues are very much interrelated. When I was kicked out as a teenager I was not femme identified, at that point I was about as far from femme as one could get and trying desperately to be tough and butch.  I was terrified of femininity, especially my own.
Now as an adult, and a femme when I talk about my work with homeless queer youth, or my anthology of current and former homeless LGBTQ youth, people look at me funny. I wear buttons on my favorite sweatshirt that proclaim that “40% of the homeless youth in the United States identify as LGBTQ” and people often stop to read it but never connect me with those sorts of statistics.  This past summer I was spending a lot of time at a theatre where my partner’s solo show was up at and someone asked me why I got interested in teen homelessness.

It was a completely innocent question, but one that still stung.  As a femme I don’t fit the ‘look’ of a queer person who was beaten and forced to leave home. And it’s not just about gender it’s about race, and current class, and a million other things but sometimes those little traces of internalized femmephobia keep me thinking about  * if *  I only looked * more * gay/queer people would assume that these were *my * people that I’m referencing about when I’m lecturing or organizing. I don’t really know what the point of this blog is other than the situation with GLASS and the anniversary of Lawrence’s death, and a week ago today being the seven year anniversary of my being kicked out are all things that are active on my mind this week  and they felt important to raise awareness about here as well.

Other posts by Sassafras

• Femme friends are the desserts of my world - July 26th, 2010
• Sunday Morning Cartoons! - July 25th, 2010
• July Femme Prompt - July 1st, 2010
• being out & visible - June 26th, 2010
• The beauty of femme - June 13th, 2010