It’s the Femmes turn for a secret sign
As many of you may know, particularly from awesomeness like the Team Gina Butch/Femme Music Video, the history of the Butch identity is tied in with blue stars on the wrist. Because of various reasons that prevented them from expressing their true identity, many Butches got blue stars tattooed on the inside of their wrists to show, in a slightly secret way, that they were queer, and identified as Butch. Nowadays, many Butches I know and have met (and have oogled from across the room at the local dyke bar) are resurrecting this tradition, tattooing one or more blue stars upon their wrists and arms. I think this is hot, sexy, historical (which IS hot and sexy) and is awesome.
However, I think the Femmes are missing out. As a Femme who almost always gets read as “a straight, alternative girl,” I’m constantly looking for ways to out myself in conversation, so the cute Butches, bois, transmen, etc, realize that I’m queer and flirting, and just just straight and striking up conversation. I have a glass rainbow pendant that I wear, I got to dyke bars, I slip my identity into conversations. But why can’t we Femmes have a symbol of our identity, a symbol that shows others (at least those in the know) a little about our identity.
I propose a spiral (a simple example is above). There are many reasons; it’s a basic concept, that can be changed and altered to fit the personality of each Femme getting it tattooed. It’s pretty (I *am* a Femme!). It’s a simple concept, but also slightly complicated (more than a circle, or a triangle, or _____). Just like Femmes; we’re a simple idea, but with a lot more depth and complicatedness behind our hottness.
I mentioned this on Sexuality Happens a while ago. I know several other Femmes that said they’d do this if I could get it off the ground. So yeah. Who is in? Who would get a small spiral tattooed on their wrist to display and embrace their Femme identity?
-Essin’ Em
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I have been thinking about this, too. I definitely think it should be a high heel on the inner wrist. I don’t always wear heels, but I think it’s nice to find a heel you can wear that doesn’t make your feet sore.
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But what about all the Femmes that don’t wear high heels?
Plus, to be honest, I’d be (and feel others would be as well), much more likely to have an abstract symbol like a spiral or star tattooed on me than something like a high heel
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after hearing leah lakshmi piepzna-samarasinha’s keynote at the femme conference and listening to her delivery of the femme shark manifesto, i’ve been thinking we should all get little tattooed pink sharks! or sharks with bows of some sort? i don’t know…i’m working on it!
seriously, though, i’m feeling this need for a sign and, coming off the conference, i just have so much renewed pride in my identity as femme and what it means to me personally. last night, i laid in bed thinking about straight-up tattooing “femme” on the inside of my forearm or somewhere else similarly visible. maybe i’ll sit on it a few days until the post-conference adrenaline comes back down. you know, just so as not to do anything too rash! photos here first though if i go through with it. promise!
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Hussy -
I don’t know about a shark (and DEFINITELY NOT a pink shark or with bows…double ew for me!), but I do like that better than a high heel. It’s important that we realize that not all Femmes are the traditional “feminine” - that’s why we’re Femmes! I hate pink, bows, frills, and rarely, if ever, wear heels. But I’m a Femme none the less!
I think “FEMME” is a little too much for me, since I do want to go kind of with the Butch historical idea of a secret sign.
Let me know what you decide on!
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Awhile back, I decided to get a pink star on my inner wrist as a counterpoint to the blue butch stars. Pink makes sense to me personally, and it’s the color I identify with my femmeness. I know it’s not the same for everyone, though.
Initially, I’d wanted to get a corresponding blue star on the other wrist, to mark the dichotomy of butch/femme and to honor the historical significance of the stars in our community. The more I thought about it, though, the more I decided that I didn’t want to tattoo something about “butch” on my body, because that’s not really my identity. I still want something on the other wrist, though, to balance the star. I love the idea of this spiral.
I have this book called the Dictionary of Symbols, and I looked up a basic spiral shape to see what it says about the meaning of spiral shapes..
“The clockwise spiral (starting from the middle) is strongly associated with water, power, independent movement, and out-going migrations of tribes…and also [was] an old symbol for ‘potential power’ in Tibet…The Vikings used it with the meaning ‘independent movement’ (against the sun, waves, and wind when necessary), and eventually ‘return’…The mirror image [counter clockwise]…was used in the earliest Chinese ideography with the probable meaning ‘return’ or ‘homecoming.’ The Hopi Indians seem to have given it the same meaning. It is also similar to a hieroglyph representing Egypt, i.e., that country one ‘returns to,’ the ‘homeland.’ It is also found pained on the walls of houses in Tibet, and has perhaps the meaning ‘home’ the place one returns to.”
I don’t know about you, but all of that really resonates with how I conceptualize “femme”! I’m totally down with this tattoo.
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Hi, I just wandered over here from SublimeFemme, and wanted to say that I really like the spiral as the symbol of Femme. It’s pretty, simple yet complex, and can be stylized to fit a singular femme’s personality. I don’t really wear heels, and don’t identify with sharks, but I’d be willing to pass around the spiral as “our” symbol.
This rocks my socks.
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hmmm…does that mean I’m butch cuz I have a blue star tattoo on my wrist? when i originally read about it in the book Boots of Leather, Slipper of Gold, the story I took away was the butches AND femmes wore the star. a femme friend of mine inked it on me several years ago. lots of femme ladies are into stars anyway.
but funnily enough, i also have a spiral tattoo on my upper arm. it’s also an ancient symbol, connected to goddess/female symbology.
I know a few other femme friends who have a heart tattoo with a fancy “F” in the middle, signifying to them their femme identity.
now that i think about it more, i like the idea of getting the spiral tattoo on the inside of my same wrist that has the blue star. totally gay.
(p.s. found you via Sugarbutch, who i found via a friend)
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[...] involves a combo of the gender spectrum/trans symbol with the feminist fist. I also want to get my Femme spiral (I am totally doing this, PS). I just have no money (but please, feel free to donate to my rent [...]
[...] betting at least SOME of you read my original post on the Femme Spiral — the Femme’s answer to being pegged as straight women, and the ying to the Butch blue [...]
This is just amazing really!! I have been toying with the idea of getting a spiral on my wrist for a few years, largely to compliment my partner’s star tats. The spiral is such a powerful symbol and I agree so much that it could/should be read as a representation of femme power. So excited about this, going to see if I can get a tattoo appointment today!
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