Archive for the Radium Category

Femme Role Models

It’s funny to me, when I hear the words “femme role model”… the first person I think of is actually a butch. The first butch I ever met, the first person who made me want to express myself in a way that made sense to myself, not to the androstandards that I had, that very [...]

staying true in self defense (or, the ultimate femme fatale)

I know this month’s topic is on femme community—I’m working on that one right now, but I heard the best story this weekend about a femme out in California and I had to share. Someplace in California, there is a 6 ft 3 femme walking around in stilettos, prepared to kill. Let me back up. [...]

words, words, words

i’ve been having a hard time writing about femme stuff lately.  actually, i’ve just been having a hard time writing in general.  something about Major Life Changes that make me feel so full of words and totally incapable of putting them together in a way that’s worth much to myself. i’ve been wanting to write [...]

what keeps a femme, femme?

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way that femmes are so often defined and recognized by proximity to their relationship to a “more visible” partner or date.  now, this is not new: we femmes spend a lot of time talking about invisibility, how to be and show off femme without a partner who [...]

femme vs. bug

there are a few things you expect when moving to a new country.  the food: different.  the language: different.  the slang: unrecognizable.  the people: different and yet the same. you’d find among my top 10 day-to-day differences things like living with three straight guys, learning after 11 years to eat some meat, doing laundry by [...]

On the Street of Shamelessness

this morning, I got called a whore by some girl on the street.  while the sentiment was not a nice one coming from her, I couldn’t help but appreciate that she had recognized me as someone different.  and not just different because I’m a blue-eyed gringa in this southern Mexico town.  different because of that [...]