A butch friend of mine called the other night in a panic over holiday gifts for her wife. She told me that she already had the main gift, but was stuck on what to get for the smaller things. Her wife, a good friend of mine, is very femme, very girly, very prissy, and is generally pleased by all things feminine. . . So, honestly, I was a bit surprised by the call and the panic; I can think of a million things to get femme wife.

I asked my friend what the main gift was, thinking maybe the smaller gifts could relate and be thematic. She told me: “Well, she’s been needing a good coat, and she mentioned that to me, so I got her a North Face (sp?) parka.” Now, I personally, would be disappointed in a gift like that because I am not outdoorsy, and I generally don’t like anything I wear to look like I might be. . But, maybe my femme friend has specifically asked for that, so I didn’t comment. Because, you know, wanting to keep your loved one warm. . . That is actually a very thoughtful gift. Then, my butch friend went on to list the remaining items she had bought for her wife:

- cotton underwear (because as she said “she seems to need new underpants all the time.”)

- a bottle of lotion (“I saw some lotion she used to wear and I got that.”)

She continued that she was thinking about some gloves of the outdoorsy variety, but was stuck on anything else. I had to restrain the giggling. My femme bud, her wife, isn’t terribly outdoorsy, and she loves silly little nothings. I mean, was she going to get her a vacuum too? While the gifts are all items that my femme friend might need, they aren’t necessarily items that she may want as a gift. To me, holiday gift-giving is a time to get small items for people that are silly and frivolous. It is a time to get things that you ordinarily wouldn’t purchase for yourself. And, while the gifts she listed are thoughtful, I think my femme friend can keep on top of her panties all by herself, don’t you?

So, I suggested to my butch friend that maybe she could buy her some inexpensive jewelry. Her wife loves peace symbols, and since this is the 50 year anniversary of the peace symbol it is on jewelry everywhere. For a small amount of money she could buy something for her wife that she would really be excited about. I continued that if she knew of a perfume that her wife really liked she could get that. And, remembering that her wife loves Lush products, I suggested she pick up some of those but reminded her that a lot of the products have expiration dates and to double check that the item would still be good for awhile.

My butch friend liked all of these ideas, but she didn’t really seem too thrilled about any of them. And, you know, we all really do want to be excited about the things we give our loved ones. Remembering that my butch friend really knows her way around a kitchen, I suggested she make her wife some bath products. This sort of startled her, but I went on “You are a very good cook. You could easily whip up some bath salts, salt scrubs, or sugar scrubs! You could make the presentation really cutesy; your wife would love that. She would love knowing you spent the time to make something for her.” She got really excited about this, and I quickly sent her my recipes for these items.

Last night, I got a text from her detailing all the different stores she had to go to, what items she purchased, and how excited she was to make the salt scrub for her wife. She was so thrilled that she plans on making a smaller batch for their young (and absolutely adorable) daughter too. While she had originally planned on giving these items as holiday gifts, she has decided to just give them to her wife this week as a “Just Because” sweet nothing (as a side note I’ve made up a word for sweet nothing gifts called “cercees”). Her excitement made me grin. I am so glad that I was able to offer some help. And, as my butch friend said: “This is going to win me lots of wifey points!”

I think sometimes with gift-giving and thoughtfulness we have to play to our strong suits. I’m a crafty lady, so I try to always make my gifts somewhat craft oriented. That way, I know I’m going to give the most thoughtful gift I can, because it is in an area I understand. This doesn’t mean that I am going to always give someone craft supplies, or even something I made. Sometimes the crafting is only the wrapping, but nonetheless I am still playing to my strong suits. My friend was able to use her excellent cooking skills to make something super girly and something super sweet and personal for her wife.

And, doesn’t her sweetness just make your teeth ache?

So I know I promised to give the needle-book tutorial next, but I thought that everyone might appreciate these super easy to make, and inexpensive recipes. They make great gifts for co-workers, friends, and sweeties.

Basic Sugar Scrub
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
10-20 drops of your choice of essential oil (or more to suit your preference)
mix and store in a jar.

Basic Salt Scrub
1 cup Epsom salt
2/3 cup carrier oil
20 drops your choice of essential oil (peppermint is cute for the holidays, and you can present it with a candy cane)

mix and store in a jar.

Basic Bath Salts

1 cup Epsom salt

2-3 Tblsp baking powder (this is supposed to counteract the effects of the x-rays we are exposed to daily)

10-20 drops of your choice of essential oil (or more to suit your preference)

mix and present in a jar

Lavender Salt Scrub (my favorite)
1/2 cup Epsom salt
1/3 cup carrier oil
1 Tblsp dried lavender blossoms (you can get these at cost-plus world market for $1.00)
8 drops of lavender oil (or more to suit your preference)

* you can add two capsules of vitamin E to any of your scrubs for an added bit of luxe.

There are lots of carrier oils; these oils do not evaporate, and they help spread your essential oil throughout your scrub. However, the essential oil will still spread for your bath salts, just be sure to cover quickly to prevent all of the oil from evaporating and thus losing most of your aroma. I prefer grape seed oil because it is relatively inexpensive, spreads well, and doesn’t have a strong scent of its own. Usually, I stay away from nut oils, since so many people have nut allergies. Below is a list of carrier oils:

- sweet almond oil

- grape seed oil

- avocado oil

- sesame oil (very pungent so watch out!)

- primrose oil

- sunflower oil (very inexpensive at the grocery store)

- jojoba oil

- walnut oil

- peanut oil (very pungent)

- pecan oil

- coconut oil

- extra virgin olive oil (can also have a strong smell depending)

Essential oils are the oils that will carry your scent. These can vary in cost according to the oil. For instance, rose oil tends to be more expensive than lavender oil. Essential oils can also greatly vary in cost according to where they are purchased. They are usually the least expensive at a grocery store (like Whole Foods), and are more expensive at a cosmetics store. Basically, just double check to make sure the essential oil you purchase isn’t already cut with a carrier oil (because then you are buying an already diluted product, and you will be diluting the oil in the recipe), and you will be set.

Finally, finish off your product by putting it in a jar and cute-i-fying it. While I typically tend to use glass jars for homemade products, I really encourage you to find plastic. That way, your product is more bathroom and tub friendly. After all broken glass in the bathtub equals no fun at all. I found the jars I used at my local grocery store. They are the Ball canning brand. The jars are made for freezing fruits and the like. They have brightly colored lids, and the lids not only snap shut but also screw tight too. I like that when I give these as gifts I won’t have to worry about spillage. You can make cute labels by hand or by computer (I’m a hand kind of lady), and be sure to include a list of ingredients. That way, not only can you show people how amazingly non-chemical your product is, you also don’t have to worry about aggravating someone’s allergies. These don’t have to be printed on the label (like mine); you could include a little card that is tied to the jar. I covered the labels on my jars with clear contact paper to make them even more bathroom-friendly, and somewhat water resistant. However, I’m not too impressed with the contact paper, and I think next time I will probably laminate the labels before adhering them to the jars. Of course, all of this is very much up to you, and very much optional.

I strongly encourage you to decorate your jars before you add your product. Once the product is inside, it can be trickier to manipulate the jar in the way you like!

Give and Enjoy!

Okay, I adore cupcakes. If you give me a choice between cupcakes and cake, I’m going to pick cupcakes every time. They are cute, colorful, and just the perfect little mouthful of goodness. . . You know what I mean?

This craft combines one thing I love (cupcakes) along with another thing I love (recycling), to create something I can use to do yet another thing I love (sewing). The finished product is a tiny little pincushion that looks like a cupcake. So much love from such a tiny craft is an awesome thing!

You will need:

-Scissors

-Needle

-Felt (in your choice of cupcake colors, use EcoSpun felt as it is made with recycled plastics)

-Embroidery Thread (in colors that match your felt choices)

-Polyfil Stuffing

-Plastic Bottlecap

-Glue (I used Fabri-Tac, but a glue gun or E-6000 glue will work)

-Optional: buttons/felt bits/charms for your cupcake

Step 1

Make a small mark on the top of your bottlecap. Run the bottlecap down the edge of your felt to get a measurement that is the circumference of your bottlecap top.

Step 2

Cut out this strip of felt. Wrap it around your bottlecap and secure it with a touch of glue.

Step 3

Trace the bottom of your bottlecap. Cut it out.

Step 4

Attach the felt bottom to your bottlecap by running a blanket stitch (the tutorial for the blanket stitch is available in the sachet how-to) around the circumference of your bottlecap.

Step 5

Draw a circle with a 3.5” to 4” diameter on a piece of felt (this will be the top of your cupcake) and cut it out.

Step 6

Decorate the very middle of the felt circle (about 1” wide). This will be the top of your cupcake.

Step 7

Run a 1” stitch around the edges of your felt circle. Keep the needle attached.

Step 8

Pull the thread hanging off the felt circle to make a pocket. Stuff the pocket full of polyfil and pull tight. You want to pack the pocket very densely so the pincushion will be strong enough to hold pins securely.

Step 9

Pull the thread tight to close the pocket. Wrap the thread around the base of the pocket several times to and then stitch and knot a few times to keep it secure. Trim the extra bit of felt hanging off the pocket (you don’t want too much because this is the part that is going to sit down in your bottlecap). Do not cut off the extra thread!

Step 10

With the thread still attached, place the polyfil pocket into your bottlecap.

Step 11

Run a blanket stitch around the pocket to attach the polyfil pocket (the top of your cupcake) to the bottom of your cupcake. Secure with a tight knot

Step 12

Voila! You are now the proud owner of a wee little cupcake pincushion! And, FYI, a tiny pincushion with a needle book (the next how-to I plan to post), thread and tiny scissors would make a darling sewing kit as a holiday gift for the crafty-minded.

Greetings Everyone. I am so excited to be writing craft “How-To’s” for The Femme Guide!!

One of the easiest ways to add a lot of inexpensive, fun, personal, sexy, and super femme accessories in your life is with a needle. And by that, I don’t mean home-done tattoos (though those can be super hot too). No, I mean needles, as in needle-and-thread. Needlecrafting is a timeless handicraft, and one that is making a really popular comeback today. So, I’d thought start a series of fun how-to’s centered about needleworking. But, no need to worry; you don’t need to already have any sewing know-how. This little series will work around small, fun, cheap n’ easy projects that will, at the same time, teach you some hand-sewing basics.

Project One: Sachets

I love sachets. They are pretty, cutesy-small, smell nice, and I can hide them in sexy places like my lingerie drawer. They make great tags, a set makes a great gift, and I like that I can tuck them in someone special’s coat as a sweet “you-know-you-miss-me” reminder.

For this project you will need:

craft felt (I use the Eco-Spun brand because it is made with recycled plastics)

embroidery thread

needle (you want one with a fairly wide eye)

needle threader (any kind will do)

marker

scissors

dried herbs/flowers (I use dried lavender from CostPlus -its runs about $1)

pins or safety pins (optional and not pictured)

sheet of paper (not pictured)

Step One

Use the marker and draw a heart on a sheet of paper.

Step Two

Cut out the Heart.

Step Three

Trace two hearts onto your felt

Step Four

Cut out your hearts

Step Five

Put your hearts together with the “markered” sides facing inwards. Hold them in place with a pin or safety pin if you like.

Step Six

Thread your needle. Allow yourself about two feet of thread (you will have to stitch around the entire heart). Put a knot at the end of your thread. Any kind of knot will do for this project. If you want to practice a neat little knot, you can find instructions here.

Step Seven

Run your needle in-between your two hearts at the inner point. Pull your thread til your knot is hidden away inside your two hearts.

Step Eight

Run your needle in from the back of your two hearts to the right of your starting place.

Step Nine

Pull your thread through until you have just a small loop left.

Step Ten

Run your needle through the loop.

Step Eleven

Pull your thread taut.

Step Twelve

Repeat Steps 8-11

CONGRATULATIONS! You have learned the blanket stitch, used and loved by quilters everywhere!!

Step Twelve

Repeat steps 8-11 until you only have about an inch-inch and half of heart left unstitched

Step Thirteen

Leaving your needle still threaded (you can re-thread if it accidentally falls off) and attached to your hearts, carefully stuff the dried herbs/flowers into the small opening you have left. This is a little bit messy.

Step Fourteen

Stitch your heart fully shut

Step Fifteen

Secure the thread with a tiny knot. You can do this by stitching back into your previous stitch and making a knot. Then, cut your thread.

Finished! Now you have made a beautiful wee sachet!

Just think of all the cute places you could stow this bitty lovely! Now that you’ve learned the blanket stitch you can make sorts of differently shaped and sized sachets. . . Or even use the same concepts to make tiny stuffed creatures.

Enjoy Lovelies!