This is my second strap-on harness, the first that I bought about four or five years ago, the Terra Firma Harness, and has served me well over the years, but as I always want more than one option for any given activity I decided it was time to get another harness. I looked around for something different, and something a little less basic than the terra firma with a little more show.

I was first attracted to this harness because of the back side of it. Similar to the Corsette Harness the Hardcore Harness laces up the back and emphasizes curves in all the right ways, wide enough to flatter any figure. It also has flame detail on the leather, which makes me think about bikers and leather style and is what gives this harness it’s name. The harness is well-crafted and gorgeous.

My first priority when it comes to choosing a strap-on harness is if it will fit me, there are a number of harnesses that I lust over which are just simply too small for my body. Many harnesses only go up to 42″ or so, which is fine if that fits you, but for those of us of the bigger variety we need to go for something larger. The Hardcore Harness fits up to 54″ hips and smaller, I found it to fit well, with some room to maneuver around in as well.

Only the front and back of the harness are leather, and the front panel of leather can easily be taken off if you prefer to feel the dildo’s base against you. The sides are nylon and have the kind of fasteners I associate with backpacks: ones that you can easily tighten and release by a tug, which makes putting it on and taking it off incredibly easy! It’s also very easy to adjust The Hardcore Harness to exactly where you want it, tightening or loosening even while in the middle of fucking with it.

I’ve used this with both Bandito and Celestial Perfection (reviews coming soon) and it easily held each of them. It comes with an o-ring already which fits toys up to 2″ in diameter, but you could easily exchange the o-ring for a smaller or larger ring to fit your toy perfectly.

It is a two-strap or jock-strap style harness and the front panel rests against the mound so it doesn’t cover up the rest of the vulva at all. I also found The Hardcore Harness to be extremely comfortable as well, honestly I didn’t notice it at all while wearing it, which is a great feeling to have when wearing a harness.

It’s gorgeous and both feminine and masculine at the same time, easy and comfortable to wear, what’s not to love? It was a perfect addition to my toybox, and has helped to re-awaken my love of strap-on sex, so look forward to more harness reviews in the future!

-Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

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I’ve been thinking a lot about femme cock lately, ever since I posted on the subject. I haven’t only been thinking about the acquisition of one, however, but also what it means to have a femme cock, and what it means that my cock is femme. On one hand, it’s a very minuscule difference. I mean, what does it matter if my cock is femme, butch, genderqueer, a dildo, or any other label that I put on it? It’s still a cock, right? It’s still a piece of silicone. On the other hand, cocks are not thought of as femme or feminine. Cocks are, as we generally associate them with males, usually considered a masculine item.

So, what does it really mean to have a femme cock? What’s the big deal? For one thing, when a cock is strapped on it is pretty much assumed that the strapper is masculine in some way. While there are many people who do not make this assumption I would say that the overwhelming majority do. Though it does seem like pegging (female penetrating a male with a strap on) has been getting more popular lately with videos like Bend Over Boyfriend and lots of beginner strap-on kits popping up all over the place. Even then, however, the penetrator is still thought of as taking on the masculine role even if the penetrator isn’t thought of as masculine.

Penetration is nearly always considered a masculine act, even if done by a feminine body. Rarely do you see a dildo called Felicity or Sophia, instead we see Leo, General, Magnum, and Throb. That’s not to say that there aren’t female-named dildos like Goddess, Mistress, Wanda, and the ever delightful Vicky Venus, but they are nowhere near as common as the others. There have always been vibrators with feminine names, because they are trying to appeal to their target audience, but if you delve into the realm of “realistic” dildos… well, I’ll just say I have yet to see a dildo marketed as realistic named anything feminine (though there could be one or two, I can’t claim to have seen all the dildos in the world). I’m not saying that they should be more common, I wouldn’t make that call, but I am saying that thinking of a dildo as feminine or thinking of penetration as a feminine act is not common.

But what does it really mean for a femme to have a cock, or for a femme to pack? There are infinite ways in which a femme can pack, and an infinite number of reasons and desires which can come out of packing/having a cock. I can’t help but think of an excerpt from The Leather Daddy and the Femme when thinking about femme cock, and the infinite possibilities:

It was lavender silicone and not shaped like a cock at all. It wasn’t even meant to be a cock, on her. She never got especially turned on to cocks–but strapping on something to fuck with, something that let her pin me to a bed or a wall and let her cunt-energy come exploding out of her and into my cunt or asshole, she liked that just fine. [...] She didn’t think of it as a cock so I didn’t either, but I sure did take it seriously.

This is part of the way I think of my cock, I declare it as a cock but I don’t think of it as a cock but as an extension of my cunt, which is also why I’m not very attracted to realistic-looking cocks for my own personal cock. I wouldn’t be against a realistic-looking (and feeling) cock in my collection, but that wouldn’t be my main cock.

The more I read in The Leather Daddy and the Femme the more I work with and figure out my own gender queerness. My sexuality is so tied in with my gender, and it’s interesting to have this lovely femme woman as well as a butch boi within me, both aching to get out and both who desire to wear a cock.

This brings me back to the question: what does it mean? Obviously, it can mean a lot of different things depending on who is wearing the cock and who is viewing/feeling the cock. Is there a big difference between someone who embraces femme packing or strapping on than someone who embraces butch? I think there is. That’s not to say that the same meaning couldn’t be applied to the cock or the wearing of the cock in both cases, because it could be, but there would still be a difference. What would that difference be, I’m not entirely sure. Something I’ll have to think on more and get back to you.

-Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

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The first strap-on harness I ever bought was pink and sparkly. It also didn’t fit very well. So, as pretty as it was, I knew I needed a new one. And I knew it had to be gorgeous and femme. I was so lucky to find the Corsette Harness.

The Corsette is a complete package. I was so impressed with the items that came with it in the box. First of all, it features a vibrator pocket and comes with a small bullet vibe complete with batteries. Second, because the Corsette is a lot like a piece of lingerie, it comes with garters to attach your prettiest stockings to. Finally, it is equipped with three different sizes of O-rings so no matter what sort of toy you choose to slide into it, it will work like a charm.

This harness comes in both black and purple and I chose the purple model. The fabric is a beautiful, rich velvet with a wonderful texture. It feels great against my skin and wonderful to the touch. I spent a long time in the mirror evaluating the shape of my ass and the way the straps cut against my curves. At the risk of sounding like a narcissist, I look hot in this thing and I was excited to try it out with a partner.

Actual use will thrusting is the test of any harness and The Corsette stood up like a champ. The straps on it go under the legs as well as around the waist and it can be tightened down and adjusted very intuitively using three different buckles. I find that I’m able to get into it and have it secure and ready to go in a matter of minutes.

I tried it out first with Jay and later the next week with Carmine. Both times I used the lovely Charmer and both times I had a ton of fun! The vibrator pocket lines up perfectly, the harness stayed secure no matter how serious the thrusting got and both gentlemen were enthusiastic about the performance.

Overall, I’m impressed with the look, feel, and performance of this harness. My old one never felt quite sturdy enough to really get down to business with and so I rarely used it. Now, I think I’ll find many more occasions to strap one on and have some fun.

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From right out of the box I fell in love with my Vicky Venus, she even came with a little packet of lube, and I’m always a fan of unexpected additions. She is soft and smooth medical-grade silicone, which (in case you don’t know) means she’s made of one of the best (and one of my favorite) materials for sex toys to be made of. She’s non-porous, hypoallergenic, and easy to clean with just soap and water or can be completely disinfected via boiling and you can even put her in the dishwasher. Though because she’s silicone she should not be used with silicone lube.

I was expecting her to be a solid scarlet color, like her picture on her VibeReview page, but instead she is a gorgeous pinkish red with white marbling in her, which I think just adds to the Goddess-y feel of her. The marbling changes her from appearing silicone to something that could actually be in a museum, a not-as-voluptuous Venus of Willendorf (with a wide base), or simply a gorgeous Goddess Venus figurine. While I’m sure she would be gorgeous a single color as well (as she is in the first picture I saw her in) I do believe the marbling adds to the beauty of her form.

She is gorgeously curvy, but not so much that it’s irritating when she’s inside, quite the contrary in fact! I would go so far as to say her curves are not only in just the right places, but create just the right sensations! Her body ripples with her curves from her hands above her head down to her legs which transform into the base and each of those curves enhances the feeling of her inside. However, because of her curves I wouldn’t recommend her for anal play unless a good cleaning has occurred beforehand, just because with all those crevices she could get a little dirty.

She’s has about six inches insertable length and is not terribly wide, “.5″ x 1.44″ at widest point” according to VibeReview. Another really nice thing about her, also, is her base is nice and wide, about three inches across and nice, thick, and stable, which makes her easy to maneuver manually or to slip her into a harness and go to town (see above re: anal play, though). I can just imagine getting my gorgeous femme goddess cock orally worshiped! How perfect and fun would that be?!

My favorite part of this dildo is that right before I got her I had just been talking about my desire for a new femme cock. Now, she wouldn’t be my main femme cock, but she is definitely a femme cock, there’s absolutely no question about it. She’s sleek, sexy, femme-inine, silicone, gorgeous, and feels amazing!

Over the last week within which I’ve had her, I’ve played with her a few times on my own, and once with Master (and just gazed and awed at her a lot as well). While I don’t always need lube for most toys, when I have a toy that is curvy, ridged, or bumped I like to add a little just in case I need it. Toys like that can be painful if they aren’t lubed up enough, and while I know I will probably naturally lube-up quickly, I like to be on the safe side.

While this dildo is definitely a work of art, she, like a true Venus: Goddess of Love and Pleasure as she is, she definitely delivers the pleasure as well as the beautiful package it comes in. I highly recommend her to anyone who enjoys their dildos in fun shapes, or who would enjoy having a goddess-figure dildo, and those who love a lot of ridges or bumps in their toys. She’s definitely worth worshiping!

-Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Many years ago I bought a terra firma harness (with extender strap) and Leo (in black). I have used it many times (though not as many as I would like), on a few different partners, both male and female. However, most of those partners and occurrences were few and far between.

Honestly, when I bought my Leo he was a butch cock. I was much more butch in high school before figuring out my femme side and embracing it. I really did and do love butch genders, and I really enjoyed playing with a butch gender on my own body, something that I still play with on occasion, I do own a black pinstripe suit and a few ties, I do enjoy going to the drag king side of my personality, as opposed to the drag queen which is my primary gender expression.

So, while I still love my butch cock, he is not quite me anymore. I have also used him quite enough on myself, which seems a little strange for my cock to have been used inside me. Perhaps this is a small point, and I think it is in some ways, but it is what I feel. It’s not that I don’t think that I could use my cock within myself, I just have used it maybe too many times. I love Leo for me, and for packing, and for fucking, but it’s not my cock anymore, it’s a dildo.

My cock needs to be femme. And my new femme cock needs to be scarlet. My scarlet femme cock is going to be gorgeous, and will make my lovers salivate at the thought of it, and it will be my femme cock. My femme cock will have a femme expression as well. She will be fabulous and perfect. And I’m not limiting myself to just one femme cock, but I need a primary one.

I found a fabulous red glitter cock at Cahoots, a sex toy/novelty store not too far from my house. However, I’m not sure how I feel about having the balls attached. It could be interesting, but, may not be quite right. But I LOVE the red glitter. It kind of makes me think of The Wizard of Oz, which makes me want it even more. It is definitely a femme cock. The problem with it, too is it is jel-lee (which I would have to use a condom with, which isn’t horrible, but could be annoying) and I would much prefer a silicone cock.

The other I’ve been eyeing is General. The common problem of both of them is that they’re both rather thick (not to mention General is expensive!). That’s not always bad, and apparently I’m just drawn to having a big cock, which makes sense as it would fit the rest of me. However, I’m sure I would want to use it for anal play quite often, so that could be an issue. I would almost have to have a female partner before I could justify a cock which did not go well with anal play. Both dildos would be lovely for cock sucking, but I’m not sure how much Master is down with sucking my cock. My primary femme cock would need to be not as thick as the other two, but I would want to get the glitter one for style as well as function.

I’m enamored with Tiger as well as the P-Spot and Luxury. Perhaps getting P-Spot or Luxury and the Wizard of Oz (WoO) cock might be a perfect combination. The P-Spot is (as you could guess) made for the prostate, but I would guess that it would be nice for getting the g-spot during anal sex as well. The WoO cock may be best for receiving blow jobs and a nice vaginal cock (with condom). This may mean I need to invest in more condoms.

Any suggestions for other fabulous femme cocks for me to look at? I would like to refrain from the jelly if possible, but I have yet to find a cock as fabulous as the WoO cock.

-Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek